Wheeldon on tour

I'm staying in a hotel where they don't believe cheese is a suitable breakfast food. So today I tried to do a cheeseless cheeseprint activity. It was partially successful, though I suspect the lack of cheese held some of them back.
Also, tomorrow I am being watched by a lady from HQ, so I reckon the cheeseprint may be put on hold until next week. I don't think my boss is ready for the whole cheeseprint innovation.

I've just been to Sainsburys to buy some cheese for my supper. Cheddar with Port. Cheesarific!

Today's school was a girls' grammar school. One of the first things I noticed as we unpacked the van was there were boys wandering around. Now call me an old pedant if you like, but I thought the idea of a girls' school was that there were no boys. I found out that the boys were in the sixth form. This strikes me as a cunning strategy on behalf on the boys in question. "I'll go to a girls' school to do my A-levels. There'll be loads of desperate girls there for me to hit on!" This might not be true....but it's clever nonetheless. Especially when there is a boys' grammar school about 2 miles away!!

Apparently there has been some discussion on the topic of CHEESEPRINTS, including the main topic of 'What the bloody hell is a cheeseprint?'. So to put the matter to bed once for all I have written, in conjunction with the good people at the OED, the ultimate guide to cheeseprints.

1. A carbon cheeseprint is similar to a carbon footprint, being not the amount of carbon dioxide (or equivalent gases) released by a persons lifestyle but by the lifecycle of a piece of cheese.

2. It's called a cheeseprint not a footprint because the average piece of cheese has not got a foot or feet. Thus it can't leave a footprint. Duh!

3. A cheeseprint of a standard piece of hotel grade cheese could consist of the carbon dioxide given off by tankers driving the milk to the cheesery, the emissions given off at power stations used to generate the electricity to make the cheese and to chill the cheese in a refridgerator and so on....

4. The cheeseprint was born when I found cheese on offer in a Holiday Inn Express and liberated it from its confines of a small bowl. Thus I devised the whole cheeseprint concept and retain all rights on use of the term 'cheeseprint'. So no stealing my idea. I know who you are!!

I hope this helps, if not, feel free to leave me feedback. Or not, whatever makes your life easier.

Clearly the good people at Sleep Inn have listened to (or read) my rant about the lack of cheese at breakfast, because todays buffet included both cheese and lovely lovely ham. Sadly, the cheese was sliced and not individually wrapped so I couldn't liberate it.
Hopefully tomorrow will bring stealable cheese.

Also, when did a hot buffet breakfast buffet include just sausage, bacon, scrambled egg and elderly beans. Where are the tomatoes? And the fried bread? As compensation for a small cooked breakfast I stole loads of Alpen bars and a yoghurt. I shall have my rewenge

After two workshops in the morning we found ourselves spending an afternoon in Shrewsbury. It's a nice place to spend an afternoon and we pottered round lots of shops and I made a few Christmas purchases. The the fun started. We left the car park in the van and asked the SatNav to get us back to the hotel. We got sent through the back alleys and lanes down what we assumed we one-way streets, mainly because they were just wide enough for the van. After almost crashing into another car coming the other way, we established that the road network hasn't been revised of late. 15 mins of driving later it tried to send us through a no-entry sign. We took the only other road and found ourselves back where we started from!!!!
We decided to follow signs back in the vague direction of the main road the hotel is just off..... Common sense - works every time.

Tragedy of tragedies. Shakespeare would have a field day with todays discovery. The good people at Sleep Inn have decided that cheese is not an appropriate food for breakfast. This means my carbon cheeseprint activity could not be done today. Also, it means my blood-cheese level is running low and I could collapse at any point.
As a poor cheese substitute, I used a pat of butter, but it wasn't the same. You could see the kids weren't into it as much and I lacked the enthusiasm that the cheeseprint so clearly gave me.

On the upside, a fire in downtown Shrewsbury meant a possible cloud of asbestos looms over the town. The god of cheese works fast

As I drove down from home to the pcturesque market town of Shrewsbury I discovered a new alternative to SatNavs. It's called 'looking at a map'. It's a brilliant new scheme, where before I travel somewhere I look at a road atlas and plot out the journey I plan on making. Then I think - M18 onto the M1. Get onto A38 and then A5, then follow signs for Shrewsbury. I'm thinking of getting a patent on this revolutionary technique. Dragons' Den here I come........

After arriving at my hotel I think "This is a bit out of the way". How right I was, after a obscure drive to the station to pick up a co-worker (which involved more one-way streets than you can shake a piece of cheese at) and discovering Shrewsbury Station doesn't appear to have parking for non-disabled people. Anyhoo.... There doesn't appear to be a single pub within 1.5 miles of the hotel, what about the poor alcoholics of outer Shrewsbury? What about me!!!!!!